Vrushali and Blossom - Bypass the Steep Cost of Regret
Welcome to the Soul Touched by Dogs
Podcast, the show for dog lovers who
see dogs not as toys or tools, but
wise souls worth our respect and care.
I'm an Herrmann, and I'm your host.
I talk to poor some humans, people who
do great work for dogs and their people.
So come and join us for
today's conversation.
Hello and welcome Vrushali.
I'm super happy to have you here.
Likewise.
Thank you for having me.
I really look forward
to this conversation.
Before we dive into the depth of it,
um, let people know where are you based
and what's your business with dogs?
Excellent.
Thank you.
I am based in India.
I work remotely with career oriented
Pet parents who are based in US, uh,
mainly the Pacific, um, time zones and
central time zones, as well as Europe.
The reason is, um, very interesting,
although we can look into that
once your listeners really want to
know and want to connect with me.
So there's a reason behind that,
but that's what I, that's what
I am based and that's what I do.
Right.
So what's special about pet parents?
Like what do you do for them?
Okay, so you know how the older
we get, the more we ask, what if?
And with pet parents, it's like we have
dogs and we love them to bits and you
know, as they age, we start thinking
about what if I spent more time?
What if I did things differently?
So what I do is reawaken harmony
to allow such pet parents to
bypass the steep cost of regret.
Um, by generating compassion and really
spending time with their fur babies.
Oh, so you're not missing out on
like, oh, the steep cost of regret.
That's juicy.
That might just turn
into the title of this.
So, so what, but like, what would people
normally, when they come to you, you
know, like, what are they looking for?
What do they say they want?
I mean, are they, I mean, are
people, because I'm feeling
like, is this something that
people are like really aware of?
And say, hey, I really need help because
I don't know, I think I'm not doing the
best I can or like what would somebody
typically say when they come to you?
Great question.
So I have two dogs.
One is a golden retriever girl, uh,
who, who's because of her energy level,
uh, she's, um, mistaken for a male dog.
And I have a rehomed rescue adult
dog, whose name is Marshall.
And because he's so quiet
and he looks very docile.
He's mistaken to be a female.
That's funny.
So I have two dogs and we go out on trips.
We go on walks together.
So when we are out, uh, the most
common, um, comments that I get
to hear are, oh, she's got two.
Such cute dogs.
And then pet parents want to know Um,
what breed they are, um, if they've,
if I've always had them since a puppy,
the other questions I'm asked once
they find out that Marshall is, uh,
adopted, he's rehomed, they're like,
oh, how did you go into all of this?
And that's how
conversations usually start.
Oh, so now, and if they say, hey,
we've just adopted a dog, can you help?
Or, because I'm sort of thinking
like the regret is the stuff that
people become aware afterwards.
So,
you know, Absolutely.
Um, so then I just asked them,
what is it that they want to know?
Because even with dogs, uh, you
know, because you've got different
breeds, you've got dogs with
different ages, different genders,
different, uh, backgrounds.
So you kind of know that it's really, you
know, it's a very dynamic combination.
Similarly, first I asked them,
what is it that they really want?
Do they want help with, you know,
Who do they just want somebody to
listen to because even that's really
important and then I go from there.
Yeah.
So, for example, they'll
ask me what breed is he?
And I'm like, I don't know,
and I don't really care.
However, I do know that he's a Catalan
Shepherd, um, because I did some research.
So there's a lot of background
investigation, a bit of
background research that
goes into me as a pet parent.
I'm a total geek about
stuff about my dogs.
Um, so when, you know, before getting,
um, in touch with you, I listened to so
many of the guests that you had on board.
And they talked about food, they talked
about the doggy planet, they talked
about, you know, healing and stuff.
So that is really interesting to me.
And pet parents really come to me with
a lot of different questions about even,
um, so both my dogs are, for example,
um, animal assisted therapy dogs.
So what or not does that mean?
How does that help?
And then I will tell them that, you
know, just having a dog around you
and having humans around who are like,
no, just keep your dogs to yourself.
And six months down the line, when
we meet back, they'll say, Oh, yeah,
so and so now interacts with my dog.
Just that much of building a relationship
without doing anything else but a
wagging tail and those puppy eyes
is enough for, you know, humans to
interact, get There's stress levels down
and the dog really doesn't speak out
much, but without even, uh, speaking
out, they do so much for the humans.
And that's a topic that
I can go on and on.
I love that.
I love that.
That's so true.
I mean, I, I got your book.
No, you sent me your book.
I didn't like, I don't want to make
it sound as if I went and bought
it when you actually sent it to me.
I could have bought it.
And, but the, The thing that really
struck me was how methodical you
were when you brought in Marshall.
When you brought Marshall home, like
that seemed like it's almost like you
took this like a research project.
That is correct.
Yes, absolutely.
Because it all began with, you know, I
kind of want Blossom to have a companion,
a doggy companion, and it doesn't have
to be, um, someone to mate with, but just
an animal companion, not just the humans.
So that's where my entire research began.
So, and I began with volunteering,
um, you know, it's a little, it's, I,
I took the, uh, the roundabout route.
Because it ended up being more
satisfying, giving me more insights.
Um, I worked, uh, so my
educational qualification is,
uh, in, um, a degree in commerce.
Uh, we call it the Bachelor of Commerce.
So I can be an accountant.
I can work as an accountant.
So I went to a veterinarian here and
I said, Hey, do you want somebody
in accounting and operations?
And he was happy to take me on.
So I worked in a veterinary clinic.
So I found out what doctors do,
what pet parents come to them with.
And, um, or, you know, I work
so different aspects of that.
That's why I'm saying I'm taking the
roundabout route to becoming a pet parent.
So I researched about rescues,
about shelters, about, and this
whole world about, uh, dogs who.
to be re homed came up and
I'm like, okay, so Blossom's
companion is going to be re homed.
I don't want a golden retriever.
I want a different breed.
I don't care what breed it is as long as
they can be, you know, kind of trained
to be, you know, not make a mess in
the house and not bark unnecessarily.
Otherwise that the house
is ruled by the dogs.
They are leash free.
They are cage free, but
with a bit of discipline.
So I went about doing a lot of research,
and then finally Marshall came home.
He's, I call him my secret Santa
because he came on 24th of December.
Absolutely.
And the first, uh, you
know, just the first week.
I could see he would find a cozy
corner in the room that most of us
were in and he would just sit there
and I could feel off him that I like
being a part of a family unit is the
feeling I got from him and that was
just so humbling to know that That was
something as simple as that was his ask.
And I'm like, okay, you've
got a home and let's just work
out all the things together.
So yeah, I'm a bit methodical.
But that's beautiful because
I think it's almost like the
opposite of what most people do.
You know, they just bring your dog home
and they just like expect the dog to
magically know how everything works.
And what I love about the way
You even unpack that in the book.
It's like, you know, it kind of shows
why it can actually be challenging
because there are a lot of little things
to think about and a lot of steps that
one could kind of overlook, right?
So if you compare how you went about
You know, making sure Marshall fits
into the family and what you see is
that your clients or other people do.
What's the biggest mistake people make?
Like what's the, what's the,
what's the step that most people,
uh, or too many people overlook?
Okay, so I'm smiling as you complete the
sentence because I'm so excited to share.
Excuse me for that.
Um, what I see is, you know,
how you have those Instagram
or social media memes where.
One picture is when you have a meeting
in audio, it's a whole messy face.
And when you have an online meeting
on video, it's a well made up face.
That's basically the reality
when you get a dog home.
We want to go all in.
And we are correct in our place.
It's just that as a dog, they, and they
want to be a part of the family, the way
they want to be a part of the family, the
only way they know how is to jump, is to
bark, and is to chew, because that's the
senses that they are attuned to the most.
And this gap becomes too big.
It keeps getting bigger.
Unless we sit down, give them
space, we take our space and take
it one day at a time and not have
them into a well trained, um, a
well behaving person from day zero.
Yes, training starts from day zero.
Yes, good manners start from
day zero, not even day one.
I don't even wait.
The second he got into my vehicle
was when, uh, his good manners,
you know, instructions began.
I don't like to call it training because
I, I say the dogs trained me to become a
better human, not the other way around.
I think so too.
Yeah, totally.
That totally speaks to me too.
Absolutely.
So that is basically it.
So give them space, give them
time, give them a lot of love.
And also remember to be disciplined in
what you do with them, and you will just
have a really beautiful relationship.
So when you say be disciplined in what you
do with them, what does that look like?
Because, you know, discipline is
a, I think in the dog training
world can be a bit of a loaded
word, you know, because it's,
It's about being clear of how we
do things around here, you know,
so how, how do you go about that?
How do you go about teaching your dog?
Like, okay, you know, the suffice of
limits or not, or like, I don't want you
to pee in the house or chew up whatever.
Excellent.
Yes, you're, and you're absolutely right.
There are different
perspectives to discipline.
Um, and even with my two dogs, their
discipline angles are totally different.
Um, but then I take into consideration
the breed of the dog, so, you know,
they're just naturally, um, a shepherd
or a sheepdog could be an alerting dog.
So his first instinct could be
to bark and could be to round up.
So you can't not take
that into consideration.
The second thing was that I did experiment
with a long leash, um, enclosures.
So he, the, uh, my leashes for both of
them are, they begin with 500 meters.
So it's like half a foot, one foot
and two feet long leashes that I have.
I don't have shorter leashes than that.
They're always on a harness
and not on a collar.
It's just something that, um, I've
realized that they like it, so
I would experiment gently, that
if, is he, is he food oriented?
Then I found out that no, he really
spooks, and food doesn't help.
Comfort helps.
He needs a, he needs a cozy,
um, unlit place, and that's
where he's the most comfortable.
He likes being anchored,
and how will I anchor him?
I've got a long leash, but
it's tethered to his spot.
And he can roam around,
but to a certain extent.
And that's, to me, what discipline means
is that they have some non negotiables.
So when it's the afternoon or when
it's late in the night, even if there
is a disturbance, they will bark as an
alert and not go into a barking frenzy.
The reason, the main reason being I
live in the heart of the city here.
It's a very urban setting and there are
a lot of senior citizens around me and it
really messes up, you know, their night
schedule if dogs are barking continuously.
And they've understood that.
And, you know, so that's, uh, one
of the non negotiables I have.
The other non negotiable is that
you can't chew on a human being.
You've got your toys
and they've got a lot of frozen treats.
Everything other than that
is up for negotiation.
Oh, I love that.
Because I think it's all driven.
It's driven by love.
It's to keep them safe.
It's to keep, and you know what
I really love about what you
just shared is how you really.
Listen to the dog in front of you,
you know, so it's not just like,
here are the rules, it's like,
okay, what does this dog need?
What does this dog need?
And I think we can do a lot of good for
our dogs if we just follow that one rule.
So like, literally listen to the dog
in front of you and experiment, right?
To try stuff out, to see
what works, what works best.
I, I just totally love that.
And, um, You know, I really wish, I
mean, I want to ask you, where can people
get the, get your book and, um, you
know, find out more about you, connect
with you, what are you going to say?
Definitely.
for saying that.
It is, and it feels like
a struggle initially.
Uh, think about it like
getting to know a new friend.
Uh, when we go to school, uh, as children
or as adults, young adults, the, the
college environment, the high school
environment is new for us as a person.
So we want to experiment, we want
to see who the cool kids are,
who, you know, the quiet ones are,
who really want to be friends.
And it takes time for us to make friends,
uh, be acquainted with other students.
Uh, so, you know, if we look at
that perspective and just take the
whole chunk of that and move it to
dog parenting, um, it'll make our
lives more stress free, I would say.
You know, give yourself some grace
that every dog is different and you
want to do what's best for them.
So, uh, just go about it a little kindly.
I love that.
I love that.
So where can people get the book
and, you know, connect with you?
So definitely, just for your guests
and your listeners, I do have a special
offer, which you will put in the notes,
so I'm not going to say it out loud, but
where they can get the book is on Amazon.
Um Two, uh, online sites, which
is KOBO, COPO and on Google Books.
And if they go to my
website, uh, which is R okay.
Uh, it's a very unique name and I believe
your, uh, listeners will remember it.
So I'm gonna say it a little slowly.
, it's, uh, r and blossom.com because Rosa.
And Blossom is my dog's name,
and we work together as a team.
That's why it has to be me
and my dog, so it's Roshani.
I love that.
And Blossom.
com.
And so now I'm thinking, like,
the more dogs you get, then it's
gonna get longer and longer.
Absolutely.
And if they put in forward slash,
Adopt hyphen, don't hyphen shop.
So adopt, don't shop, dashes in between.
That's where they can get my e books.
I love that.
I love that.
Well, thank you so much because
I think there's so much, um,
like practical tips, but also I love, I
just love the attitude you bring to this.
So like, thank you so much.
This was absolutely delightful and I
can't wait to connect with you again.
Thank you for having me.
Bye.
Bye.
Thanks so much for listening.
If you enjoyed the episode, don't forget
to subscribe, and leave a review so
other dog lovers can find the show.
If you haven't already, head
over to soul touched by dogs.
com and sign up for weekly doggy cuteness
tips, recommendations, and personal
stories to warm your dog loving heart.
And if you know a pawsome human
you think I should interview,
I'd love an introduction.
Email me at Anke.
That's A N k E at Soul
touched by dogs.com.