Soul Touched by Dogs

Welcome to the Soul Touched by Dogs
Podcast, the show for dog lovers who

see dogs not as toys or tools, but
wise souls worth our respect and care.

I'm an Herrmann, and I'm your host.

I talk to poor some humans, people who
do great work for dogs and their people.

So come and join us for
today's conversation.

Anke: Hello and welcome, Michael.

I'm beyond delighted
to have you here today.

Michael: You're delighted.

I'm totally excited.

This is so fun.

I love the work you're doing and
the message that you're spreading.

Anke: Fabulous.

So before we dig into that really juicy
topic that we have, um, give people

like the two minute bird's eye overview.

You know, where are you based?

What's the day job?

What's the business?

How do you help people?

Michael: Yeah, thank you.

Great question.

I live in Fort Collins, Colorado,
just about an hour north of Denver.

Um, beautiful location.

I'm very attuned to nature, so
it's a wonderful place for me

to live and actually do my work.

So, I'm a canine-partnered
men's relationship coach, right?

Like, what the heck is that?

So, I help men.

Create emotional confidence and emotional
intelligence working with a relationship

with their dog, right, and taking that
into other relationships in their life.

I act as a mentor and a guide.

To help facilitate this process,
we already have all of these bits

of wisdom inside of us, but we
just don't know how to access them.

So that's where I come in, and
I create this other environment

for this to be able to flourish.

So, um, you know, I work with guys
on Zoom, I work with guys locally.

I love working one on one locally
because we actually take our dogs out

into nature, and we can accomplish
amazing things once people...

They get settled and, and feel safe
and comfortable and relaxed in nature.

Um, so I, I'm totally humbled by, by
what I do because people have helped

me get here doing the same thing.

So, um, yeah, it's just amazing.

There, there's so much out there
and our animals give us so much.

We just don't know how to tune into them.

And really pick up on that.

So, uh, yeah, I get to
help people with that.

Love it,

Anke: love it.

I mean, that's, that's like what that,
just that last bit you said, this is why

I wanted you on this show like so badly.

Because I guess that's the whole
message of this, you know, like dogs

aren't just toys or tools like this.

So, you know, they've got so much wisdom.

There's so much to learn for us.

Like it's not about teaching
them to kind of, you know, sit

and pull and this and that.

So I think there's so
much more depth to that.

So I'd like to, the first thing
that jumps to mind is, it's like,

what if somebody doesn't have dogs?

You know, do all your clients have dogs?

Or, um, what if somebody doesn't
have, like, will, can you...

Transmit the same message with,
with your dogs, for example.

Michael: So I, I prefer that someone
already has a dog so that they have

that, that that bond established.

And it's not as deep for every person.

And that's okay, but that's
a relationship, right?

Whether you have a dog or a cat or a bird,
there's actually a relationship there.

We, we just don't perceive
it that way for a lot of us.

Um, I prefer that, but I can bring
my dog, um, obviously locally,

it's an experiential thing, to,
to someone who doesn't have a dog,

and show them how, how her behavior
affects his behavior and vice versa.

And it's like, whoa, I had no idea.

So yeah, I prefer they have
their own animal because it's

just, it really helps the work.

But, um, you know, animals
are, they're just here, right?

They're just present and they will
show us who they are in that moment.

Anke: And they often show
us who we are, right?

Michael: Yeah, they're constantly
trying to mirror to us or reflect

back to us how we are showing up.

Yeah, there's

Anke: even a book, there's a book by
Kevin Behan, Your Dog is Your Mirror.

Michael: Very interesting.

Oh yeah, yeah, go straight to chapter,
straight to chapter 20, right?

That's what, to me, that's where
the magic is for, for his book.

Anke: Awesome.

So how did you get...

Like, can you share the story, like, you
know, obviously, so you, you, you have a

close relationship to, to dogs, to your
dogs, you know, you out to work with men.

So when did you, how did that idea
come about to combine the two?

Michael: So this started in, uh, 2017,
um, you know, I've had dogs my whole life.

And You know, many amazing animals.

I didn't realize the depth of
what they were giving me until

after I had, let's say, an
awakening after my brother's death.

I grieved him so hard and it
opened me up to how I was acting

in the world, how I was showing up.

And I thought, I didn't like that guy.

I'm like, well, I need to change this.

And again, at that time, I had an amazing
dog who helped me soften a little bit and

open up to all these other possibilities.

And then I, I started
putting it all together.

Like, oh my gosh, when I was 11, my
dog helped keep me alive, basically.

Um, when at this age, this dog
helped me with this, this age.

So there's all these huge lessons
that I didn't put together.

And I'm like, Other people need to know
this, that there's help out there and

we don't see that we're being offered.

Anke: Yeah.

So how did you get your
first client with that?

So what was the transformation there?

Like, when was the first time, like,
when you tried this, like that, you

know, obviously in your own experience,
it's a very strong experience and

you can really see through it, right?

So, so how did you get that first client?

You said, well, let's go there.

Let's, let's look in this

Michael: direction.

Yeah, that's a great story.

I gave a presentation on
this yesterday to a group.

Um, so, this man contacted me because...

His perception of what I did
was that I was a dog trainer.

And I said, well, I'm not really a
dog trainer, but I'm happy to meet

and help you sort, sort this out.

Cause his dog was, was escalating
and doing all these crazy things.

And we, we determined that he was acting
out and his dog was responding and trying

to get him to notice what was going on.

His marriage was in turmoil.

His, his business that he ran
with his wife was in trouble.

And, and then the dog was, was going
crazy trying to, trying to say,

Hey, there's something wrong here.

And he, he got, he, he got it so quickly
and was able to shift that perspective.

And he said, There's
nothing wrong with my dog.

And I said, no, there's
nothing wrong with her.

And he just broke down crying, you know,
because he had this realization that,

that he and his wife needed to, to get
into their issues, um, individually, as

well as a couple and work this stuff out.

Anke: Yeah, that's, that's powerful.

And it really kind of shows how,
how tuned in they are to, you know,

to, to what we, so what's the.

typical insight that people have
that they might not have expected.

Because, you know, when you kind of work
with somebody, there's always a certain

outcome that you kind of expect to have.

And I would imagine in your work,
I would imagine there'd be a lot

of those that they, that you see
them get all the time, that they

don't expect when they come to you.

Michael: It's when we're able to let
go of our intelligence to see the

awareness that's available, right?

The dog is constantly, like I
said, trying to communicate with

us in their way so that we see
that we, we can do something else.

It's, they're not just a comfort measure.

Um, and I'm not diminishing that
at all because they bring a lot of

pleasure and relaxation to people.

There's more when you're able to, when
you, when you create that curiosity.

My dog, is my dog doing that?

Yes, your dog is doing that.

So it's this aha moment where they go.

Oh my gosh.

So when this happened, and I
acted like this, and my dog did

this, that's all tied together.

Anke: And how do people
take that awareness in their

human to human relationships?

Like what, what are typical
shifts that they experience?

Michael: It's slow, right?

So we all want, we want
to create massive change.

Oh, I can do this other thing.

But it has to be a practice.

You know, in yoga, the term is
take, take it off the mat, right?

So how do you take what you've now learned
and apply it in these other relationships?

So, there may be people at work
that you don't get along with.

Well, you can't expect it
to all of a sudden be, Yay!

But we do that, right?

Oh, now I have these skills!

So, it takes time and a constant practice.

It's applying this and realizing
what works for you and understanding

that it may not work for that person.

So, it's creating this change,
not to create other change.

Yeah, I think

Anke: that awareness is
really, really powerful.

And to show, I think, I mean, we had
obviously, we had a previous conversation

that really stuck with me was that idea
that what people often do naturally

in relationship to their dog, like
that gentleness, that kindness, that

unconditional love that feels so kind
of obvious and natural with your dog.

You know, it doesn't always feel as
easy to take it into, you know, into

human to human connections, right?

Michael: Yeah, well, there's, there's
all these other expectations that the

other person may have of what this
relationship needs to be for them, but

we don't actually communicate about it.

We just, we show up expecting one
thing, they show up expecting something,

but we don't get that with the dog.

There's...

They don't have all these rules
that they apply to the relationship.

Um, and we, we feel that.

We may not recognize that, you
know, mentally, but we feel

it and we respond in kind.

We can be open and vulnerable and
soft and gentle and cute and cuddly.

But we can't be cute and cuddly
with, with, you know, the guy

in engineering, or, you know, he
sure as hell doesn't want that.

So it's fascinating.

Why does that work
here, but not over here?

Anke: Right.

It's fascinating.

You know, when you take thought and
expectations and judgment out, like

that's like in the real world, right?

You know, it's like when you take
thought, expectation, judgment, worry,

guilt, when you take all that out.

Yeah, you know, what are you left with?

Michael: Yeah, compassion,
love, you know, nurturing.

I mean, all these things that
we all, we all crave so deeply,

but don't know how to access.

And we sure as heck don't know how to
ask for it, but that dog's just given it.

Anke: Love that, love that.

So where can people go and find out more
about that, you know, because you've

got a book and it's not just for men, so
you know, where can people get in touch

with you, find out more about your work?

Michael: Yeah, go to www.

dogsandmen.

com All one word, no spaces.

Um, and what's on there is tons of
podcasts and radio shows, um, resources.

And my books are on there
for, in PDF download for free.

So, um, yeah, download it, look at it.

And then email me and
tell me how crazy I am.

That'd be great.

Um, there's a link to my, there's
a link to email me, but it's

also michael at dogsandmen.

com.

And I, I just want to
spark curiosity in people.

Some people are going to get it.

Some people aren't, and that's okay.

This isn't for everybody.

Anke: But I think there's so much
to see, you know, and I think

it makes life so much simpler
and, and kinder and more loving.

And I think there's can't ever
be too much of that in the world.

So love what you do.

Absolutely love it.

Michael: Thank you.

And I agree.

We, we, if we could all just do a
little better, a little more love, a

little more compassion, and to ourselves
as well, not just to the world.

Here's where the change
has to start, right?

When Gandhi said, be the change
you want to see in the world.

So, and I think that's really true.

I think it is

Anke: true.

We just all need to be a
little bit more dog, right?

Michael: Yes, be more dog.

Anke: Awesome.

Well, thank you so much.

And I hope to have you back at some
point because we want to see where

you're going and what's evolving.

So I would love to have
you back at some point.

Awesome.

Michael: I would love to be back.

Thank you for having me.

Thanks so much for listening.

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And if you know a pawsome human
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I'd love an introduction.

Email me at Anke.

That's A N k E at Soul
touched by dogs.com.